Writing the “other” as your main character

I answered a queston on writing on Facebook today.

The bottom line of this question was: “How can I write a character that is clearly ‘other’ while not making it a negatvie story, looking down on all people in the story who are not like her?”

My first reaction was about the artificiality of social norms, how we learn to see ourselves as “abnormal” when we do not, or can not conform to social roles imposed by others and out society, and the importance of a cast in the story, that reflects the “strangeness” and normalness of the main character, so the main character is one of many, instad of only one like herself.

But that did not answer the question asked.

This did more:

One things come in mind for me:
“Normality” or: “what is considered normal?” – A person stands out in this issue when they are the only one “not conforming the norm”. What if the character herself is actually completely normal? And has others in her circles similar to her?

I assume you reader-base is the average person. As in: if you would write for people who –for instance– think the world at large is fake bullshit, there would not be a need to ask this question, because the story would confirm their bias, not (potentially) oppose it.

What comes to mind as an example (after not remembering the name of this graphic novel about Goth 2 girls) is “The Addams Family”.

The author centers on The Addams Family, makes them the “normal” and with that he creates a lot of room to play with (and mock, and satirize, in this case) certain aspects of “normal” society.
As for the roles: while Gomez and Morticia seem to be the lead characters, they are quite dull and reactive. The real work and exposure in the narrative is done via the side-characters: the kids, the butler, uncle Fester, cousin It, etcetera, and through specific traits they represent. (For example: “Pure acceptance and unconditional love”: Gomez and Morticia. “Chaos”: Pugsley. “Gloom, depression, intelligence, non conformism”: Wednesday, “Sibling loyalty and rivalry”: Pugsley and Wednesday. “Being wildly succesful while being completely alien”: cousin It, etc)

Is your character the only “Not like other girls” character, or is she one of many in her personal circles, and actually quite regular in her uniqueness? Can you give each of your main character and side characters a specific and clear trait with which readers can strongly identify with? (like: the grumpy one, the bright and clever one, the eternal optimist, the sarcastic one, etc?) Can you transfer certain actions and observations to side-characters? Like if bullying would be a theme, this could not be a focal point for the main character, but one of her friends. The friend comments, reacts, etc while the main character focuses on her life, her goals, her aspirations, and so on.
With this, reacting on bullying is still in the story, but (clearly present) in the background, without “slowing the story down”. Overall this allows the reader to enjoy the main story, while the story can do whatever you want, in the background.

If the theme is primary, you can introduce it as a secondary thing first (“it happens to somoene else, and your character is not directly involved, but made aware of by a friend”) Then you can start involving your character more and more.

“Normalizing” your character (not by toning her down, but by surrounding her with characters “just like her” and even maybe “more extreme than her”), usually fixes a lot in this aspect. The less it is an issue for your characters (they have more important things to do, like moving their own story forwards), the more it usually works for the reader.

The more normalized your character is in the story, from the world building point of view (by surrounding them with similar characters) the more options you have to also create and show contrast in a way that feels natural to the reader instead of –for instance– preachy.

Hope this helps.