Retelling/remixing: The fast and the furious

Future praise for “Fast and furious poetry”:

Fast and furious poetry and paper folding have never been taken to this level of exitement before

Each time I read the poetry recitals in “Fast and furious poetry” my blood starts pumping and I want to run out in the streets and do the same

The men are manly. The woman are feminine. Even though there is romance, Kaptein knows to keep the fast and furious poetry a central piece of the story

I can see sequels coming. Like: “Fast and furious poetry II” and: “Faster and more furious poetry”

This is SciFi taken to the maximum!!

Today I decided to write a story with more man-crying (to happen somewhere in Jan/Feb). Since I have a man-crush on Vincent Diesel, I decided to take “The fast and the furious” as the template for my rewrite. (See other posts on rewrites here)

A summary: Fast and furious poetry

The story will be called “Fast and furious poetry”

Usually I have the plan complete before writing a post like this, but I simply am too busy to sit down properly. So this will grow as I add things in the next days.

Here is the basic plan / remix:

  1. It follows closely the plot — Scene by scene will be reviewd for use and — if used — remixed. Some scenes will be dropped to keep the story below 10,000 words
  2. Car-chases become man-poems — each car-chase will be replaced by man-poems about flowers, reflecting the actual scene from the movie in poetical terms.
  3. Contests / races between men become recitals — Each time there is someting like a competiton, these will become man-recitals of man-poems. Note: this is not like rap-battles. This is poetry recited!
  4. Explosions become acts of paper folding — Each explosion will be replaced by a casual man-creation of paper folding
  5. Guns/weapons are man-crying — Each time a gun/weapon is used or shown, man-crying takes place instead. Of beauty, joy, sadness, anything
  6. SF — It will be a SF story in an SF setting
  7. Manly — While a lot of beauty and man-crying takes place, the main character will remain a manly man. With curly moustaches. All of them.
  8. Man-focus— I will do some gender/role bending to restore the balance a bit
  9. Dress-code — Double breasted for gentlemen and gentlewomen. Or dresses shaped like eggs that can inflate/deflate for practical reasons.

I will keep the car-driving and the sceneries, but they will never drive faster than 40 KM/h and the moment stuff becomes ridiculous, paper-folding man-awesomeness bursts out. It will be very emotional, manly and sweet.

Plot brief

Brian is an undercover cop. He is set on the case of “underground poets” whose poems start showing up everywhere. Being a poet himself he works his way into the world of illegal poetry of “the fast and the furious”. His assignment is to discover which underground poets have been also involved in the illegal act of paper folding.

(to be continued)


There is a lot of confusion about “what it means to be a man” including the belief that “No” means “maybe” and that you will lose your penis and your balls (the very definition of manhood) when you do “women’s jobs” like dish washing and cleaning fish.

After watching (a TV show on Spanish television) and reading several things and writing several stories without any (heterosexual) man at all I decided to write a man-centered story, about manly men doing manly stuff.

Snippets to use

(Courtesy to postings of @requireshate)

“But then one day she saw a secret underground demonstration of the now-banned art of samurai combat paper folding man-poetry, and everything changed”

“He recited his first poem, while folding a black rose. His hands were moving rapidly, showing incredible skill, folding, folding, folding. He raised his voice as he came to the climax, his words strung together. It was loud! It was bright. It was very explosion-y. Then he threw the rose and a deep silence dropped as it hit the floor.”

(See? Manly man poetry. I will probably add some “thrusting” as well.)

“I’m white,” he said, “but one thing I’ve made a major point in my life is to never see skin color. Adding people of color into things just for inclusion is just as bad. However, this is not about racism, this is about fucking with my fandom. Stay away from my elves folding”

All I saw was a white man standing up to white people around him. A new poem was born right there and then.

(Not sure if I can get/find a right angle on this.)


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